Aries
Mean spiritied murderous thugs in sheeps clothing. Most Nazi's were Aries. Aries/Aryan, get it?

Taurus
Dim witted stubborn clods bred for hard labour. Bred as pack animals in some places.

Gemini
Charming geniuses

Cancer
Per the name, fatal.

Leo
The only thing more stubborn than a Taurus. Objectionably so. Most Leos are lucky to be alive.

Virgo
The virgin. Not.

Libra
The forgettable sign. Here's a list of all famous Libras's:

Scorpio
Like the bug, neat, until they sting you and then you die.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius is the water bearer. You know, sort of like Hurricane Katrina was. Get the picture?

Capricorn
Make great butterfly collectors. Not good for much else.

Aquarius
Fruit loops.

Pisces
See Aquarius